Like A Child

I studied Spanish all 4 years of high school and all 4 years in college (on top of the 6 years I had in elementary school) and spent some time in several Spanish speaking countries; however, before arriving in Argentina, I had not spoken much Spanish in 2+ years. I arrived here and felt completely lost. Here, there is a strong Italian influence to the language and the vocabulary is different than what I learned in school and traveling. This made it difficult to understand anything people were saying. I probably understood about a third of what I was hearing and at times I didn't understand anything. The first week, I had the comfort of being with the other volunteers in my group and I didn't have to speak a lot of Spanish.

Then, the week of orientation came to an end and I came to Ballester where nobody speaks English. I mainly felt frustration that I could not express myself or say what I really wanted to say. Of course, there was nervousness and fear that I had, too. I still feel frustrated at times because of the language, but those times are becoming fewer.

In the beginning of my time here, I felt like I was a child for a couple reasons, 1) the language barrier and 2) I couldn't go do everything on my own.

The conversations I had were very basic, for the most part. It wasn't the people around me, it was just the fact that I was very limited in my verbal communication due to the language. The first weekend I was in Ballester, I went with Xiomara to hang out with some of her friends for dinner. Her friend who's home we went to has an 11-year-old daughter. Her daughter ate with us and seemed to take an interest in me. She kept watching me and eventually moved to sit beside me. We had a conversation that consisted of asking each other basic questions (i.e. how old are you? do you have any siblings? and so on). Then, she went to another room to watch TV. I remember there was a moment where I felt like I should be off playing with her instead of sitting at the table with the adults. Everyone was very welcoming and included me in their conversation, mainly about politics, but I wasn't able to communicate at the same level as them.

People in my community have really been looking out for me and concerned with my safety. It's very comforting to know that so many people are looking out for me, but again, it feels like I'm a child at times. Back in the States, I went most places by myself, including driving across the state to visit friends/family and running errands. The first couple weeks I was here, some of the ladies in the hogares were nervous about me going to the store by myself. One time in particular, after moving into my apartment, I needed to go shopping for some kitchen supplies. I asked some of the ladies here where I should go and they told me a couple places, but they were afraid for me to go by myself (folks might try to rip me off, etc.) and insisted on somebody accompanying me. I didn't argue, but felt a bit of frustration that I couldn't just go out and get what I needed when I wanted to go. I had to wait on someone to go with me.

Over the 6 weeks (I can't believe it's been that long!) that I've been here, I have come a long way in speaking. I am able to communicate fairly well with everyone at the comedor and in my community. I feel like I have become very good at describing things, if I don't know the word in Spanish. I do have fear that I'm not coming across the way I intend to at times - like I sound demanding or say something offensive without intending to or without realizing. I am very grateful for the people around me who have really been patient with me while I learn and who have helped me learn their language.