Besos

In Argentina, everybody greets everybody with besos (kisses). It's about like shaking hands in the US. When you meet someone, run into a friend on the street, or arrive at an event you exchange besos. It's really simple, you touch your right cheeks together and kiss. You've probably seen this in movies or if you've ever traveled to Europe. You also do this when saying good-bye. Everyday at the comedor, as the children arrive, they come over and kiss my cheek. They do it again as they're leaving. At church, when sharing the peace, we give besos instead of shaking hands or hugging. In Buenos Aires, even the men exchange besos with each other. In other parts of the country, men do not exchange besos with other men.

I learned that there is some etiquette for besos as well. A few weeks ago, at the comedor, Beto and I were talking in his office at the end of the day. He started talking about besos and how to properly give a beso. (Comparing it to handshakes in the US.) It is offensive if you turn your head too far to the left when touching cheeks together. He equated it to a weak hand shake. Then, he told me that one of the girls went to him earlier that afternoon and was upset. She told him that I didn't like her because I turned my head when we greeted each other when she arrived. He explained to her that I'm learning the culture here and that besos are new for me and I probably didn't mean to turn my head.

I felt terrible when Beto told me I had offended one of the children. I wanted to cry. Beto was very nice about bringing it to my attention and was not upset with me by any means. He wanted to make sure I don't accidentally offend anyone else. I was very appreciative of this lesson and I made sure he knew that I had no idea I had done this. He didn't tell me which child it was, but I had an idea. The next day, I was certain I knew which child I had upset. It was a 9 y/o girl who was always attached to me and wanting my undivided attention. I knew it was her because she wasn't paying me any attention. She would greet me, but the rest of the day, she wouldn't have anything to do with me. I was determined to set things right with her and attempted to engage her in conversations and games. Within 2 weeks, she was warming back up to me and now everything is fine. She even drew me a picture and wrote "Te amo" (I love you) on it.

The day after Beto and I had our talk about besos, I was very intentional about paying attention to giving besos. I wanted to kiss every person that walked through the door, just to practice and show them that I could do it correctly. (I wondered how many of them I had given besos to incorrectly.) I have also observed other people exchanging besos. Most people take their time with it and they will go out of their way when they enter a room to greet every person with besos. (It's not like a hand shake you can reach across a table to give.) I'm still trying to remember to greet everyone with besos when I arrive somewhere instead of just a verbal greeting. It's faster to just say "hi" to a room full of people all at once and I have found that I'm still adjusting to not being in the rushing, fast pace mode I was in in the States.